What do you do with what you know?

This past weekend I was 1,830 miles away from home. Home meaning my three children, a quiet life, my church, and known surroundings. For me it didn't matter if I was flying out to New York City or the Bahamas - as a mother flying meant I was not going to be there with my children. The anxious feelings weren't necessarily about flying, but more about the simple fact that momma wasn't gonna be around. I made a list and checked it twice. Cheerleading practice, soccer practice, afterschool music lessons, Saturday afternoon games, Seaworld, the list went on and on. I gotta admit my mom was a bit annoyed with me doubting her ability to get things done as if she hadn't raised three kids of her own. On top of the hectic schedule, my daughter was just getting over a 3-day fever. I was praying and rebuking any attack that the enemy was trying to plan to interfere with my trip - his lame strategy of course. So Thursday at 2:45 in the morning we attempted to sneak out of the house as quiet as possible though my heavy suitcase rolling down the hallway didn't really help in that. Before we made it past the bedrooms we hear, "Mommy?". Great. I had to wake up grandma to tend to her crying grandkids and try to get on our way before we missed our flight! It was hard though - no mom can walk away from her crying children and not want to just hug and kiss on them till they are calm. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. A sweet reassuring text from my mom 30 minutes later gave me peace though. The kids were just fine and back in bed sound asleep. Praise God. We landed in New York City that afternoon and just as we were rounding out that first evening I had a call come in from my sister. Expecting to hear her checking in, I sarcastically answered my cell, "Heyyyyy sissssss! I can't really hear you, I'm in NYC and the streets are crowded and busy!" [laughing]...she said, "Glad to hear you made it, but uh, I'm calling cause, well, did you notice Sophia's face is really swollen?" I made a dash for the nearest corner, pressed my ear to the phone and said, "WHAT?!? What do you mean swollen?" She went on to say that got a call to pick up my daughter from school today cause she was running a fever of 102. Sophia was still there with her, but she noticed her face and eyes had been swelling slow over time. Panicking and thinking the worst I urged her to take Sophia to the ER and call me immediately after. We hung up so she could call my mom, the temporary caretaker, and I immediately burst into tears. Though my emotions were raw, I prayed. I prayed, but I lacked faith. Has that ever happened to you? When you get that unexpected news and find it hard to muster up the faith past your thoughts. My sister called me back and said that she set an appointment for her the next day first thing in the morning, assuring me that she'd be ok. I was totally against it. I begged her to take her in, but she said no. After my MIL and husband witnessed my distress we went back to the room and attempted to enjoy the remainder of the night. We talked about what could have possibly been the cause for her swelling, etc, but the entire time I just kept thinking about my Sophia. Is she really ok? I need to be there with her. Why would I leave her if she wasn't 100% better? Honestly, I was literally moments away from leaving my husband and mother-in-law there and flying home. It's crazy the decisions we made in the midst of our emotions.  I prayed fervently that night. I claimed in the name of Jesus that my daughter was healed - I spoke the Word of God over her life. In all this I can't say that I was completely convinced myself of what I was speaking. I was so worried. And I hate to say that cause I know that as a child of God, I should never worry. But I'm not a robot - I am human who fails to look past the natural sometimes. So Friday rolls around and my mom calls just after leaving the doctor's office. She tells me, which I still don't understand why, but the doctor decided to test her urine for a urinary tract infection. With those results it determined that her white cell count was too high and that could be an idication of something going on with her kidney's or just the infection. The infection that he didn't think she had might I add. So, if I wasn't freaking out enough the night before, this day I most certainly was. After we hung up I text the two most faithful and dependable women I know, who I also consider my spiritual mentors. This is the text in its entirety that I received after telling them about Sophia's condition and my current feelings:

Oh darling, that's just what satan hoped would happen to your spirit. I always say the devil is a cruel and this is just one more example of it being true. But don't you know that GOD knew you were leaving as well and HE had a plan for the protection of your children even before you left. HE sees the beginning from the end. GOD never said we couldn't weep while we stand! Be encouraged Jessica, GOD is on your side. He loves you and so do I.

Wow. Chiiiiiild, I was snot crying while reading this text. I wasn't just crying because she is such a sweet and caring woman of God. I was crying because I KNEW this to be my GOD! Immediately all the scripture that had been impressed on my heart began to bubble up. Every encouraging bible verse I had given to others in times such as this came to my rememberance.

I will not fear sudden diaster, for the LORD is my confidence. Psalm 3:25-26

He knows everything. Psalm 139

God is in control, He is El Roi. Psalm 139

All throughout my days in NYC I prayed. I remained in constant communication with God about the wellbeing of my children. My mother was instructed to return back Monday morning with a full urine sample of Sophia's to test that once more. To God be the glory when I say that her report came back clear! Jesus, my daughter's healer, touched her body and healed any infection. 

When it comes to the bible, the Word of God, as a child of God, this is our weapon. We don't fight with our emotions or feelings. We fight with the power of Words. We fight on our knees in prayer  - that is our job. Jesus' job is to heal. He promised to heal our "land" when we seek Him with our whole heart in all humility. God is faithful. 

I will be as transparent with you as possible. I was scared. I was worried. I thought worst when the doctor said anything regarding her kidney's. But I praise God and I'm grateful for the body of Christ. Ephesians says that we should have unity in the body of Christ. We are one. I called on members of the body and was encouraged, prayed for and held together. 

Your grace is enough.