July Ispy Haul

Simple and sweet was the Ispy July bag. Here's what's in the bag!

If you're not signed up to get your monthly Ispy bag, here is the link to do so. For only about ten bucks you get a cute makeup bag filled with lots of different product that are just for you as you begin to review each product, letting the company know more of what you like.

Shray - 2 mask: one for dry skin and the other is an acne-treating

(Not an Ispy product)
Bought this lovely little pot from Walmart this weekend for $3. For some reason I always seem to detour to the makeup department. Ugh.

Vasanti eyeshadow brush :)

Smells yummy! Eva-Nye hair serum

This was answered prayer. I had recently seen a Sephora Haul from the beautiful Jaclyn Hill where she talked about this GORGEOUS cranberry shadow that I so wanted to get my hands on! As it would slip my mind, this comes in the Ispy bag! I tried it yesterday and it is beautiful! Very build able and matte which I love!

Freelance Makeup

Do you get the drift me of loving makeup yet? Seriously, like I love makeup and fully educated from YouTube. Ha! With my husband living in Washington, I've been allotted lots of time to myself to watch video after video after video, obsessing over the art of makeup. I've always loved all things fashion - clothes, makeup, hair - I have an appreciation for all of it! I recently invested (but bought it at a bargain) a professional synthetic brush set to learn a thing or two at getting the technique down right at shadows and such. I once heard that it's not the product, but the tool in getting the right results. When I joined the Mary Kay family a couple years ago I learned about proper skincare and yes, a bit about the colorful side of things with their makeup. Now I will be completely honest, MK does not have a huge selection of makeup, which is what kind of turned me off to that, but I do LOVE their cleansing products. Earlier this year I mentioned to my husband that I would like to expand my boutique with a beauty bar having under an hour services like; waxes, pedi, mani, massage, etc. I would hope one day to start cosmo school to get professionally educated in makeup, hair, esthetics and all that other jazz so that I can properly run my business. Well, thanks to a great friend of mine, I started my freelance makeup services this summer! She asked me to do her makeup for her sister's wedding and despite the immense amount of pressure, it actually came out pretty nice :) I went on to do makeup for a bride-to-be at her bridal shower and then did 3 in her bridal party on the big day!
I'm definitely looking forward to more opportunities and of course to keep learning. That's the key to any success. Never miss a chance to learn more.

Here is the work! Yes, I know. I amateur in me didn't take before and after pics. Boohoo.

Let's go shopping! Food & Beauty Haul

I'm sure you've watched a makeup haul or something like that, but tonight we shall FOOD haul! Ha ha! What's better than makeup and food? Nothing. Well, maybe shopping...yeah, shopping.

So I got this new little thing I'll be on for the remainder of the month of July and it goes a little something like this...P R O T E I N. With the help of a co-worker, who used to body build, we together created a meal plan that consists of a whole lot of protein and not so much food. The first week was pretty tough, so I decided to tweak it a bit.

Breakfast - Smoothie with protein

Snack - 100 calorie or less

Lunch - Protein shake

Snack - 100 calorie or less

Dinner - Chicken or fish with greens or veggies

Snack - 100 calorie or less

Trying to cut out all processed food, processed sugars, intake LOTS of water and I also put together a journal of workouts broken down by what I want to focus on during each workout. I'm obsessed with fitness model, Jen Heward She is just so great! She has tons of videos that give thorough step-by-step workouts that make it so helpful in understanding what to work on and WHY! So often I would go to the gym and have no clue what to do with all the machines, but since following her I've educated myself so much more. Anyway, so in addition to the new workout plan (which should be 6 days a week) I picked up some yummy foods for the plan. 

Gala Apples, Granny Smith Apple (adding to chicken salad), Avocado (source of good fats), Lemons & Limes (detox for water and zest for fish), Cucumber (greens)

Going to try raw broccoli instead of so much frozen.

The grocery store worker totally sold me on this and I'm so glad she did. I've been wanting to try salmon, but was always so intimidated by how to cook it and it affecting the taste. She had it pan cooked and oh my goodness was it delicious!! So here it is all ready and seasoned. Can't wait to eat it with some white rice. 

Breakfast smoothies options here. Plain raw oats, bananas, muesli (haven't tried before), blueberries and of course the staple of every protein source, peanut butter. 

Good carbs here, white rice and quinoa :)

More breakfast/lunch options. I normally get Almondmilk with vanilla, but this time I tried unsweetened to knock out some of the sugars. Egg whites for weekend breakfast. Greek yogurt vanilla blend to add to the smoothies and last but not least, Special K protein bars for in between snacks. 

Dinner choices. Chicken breasts, staple. Ground turkey, staple. Frozen veggies, staple. I mentioned in a previous post about how I learned the greatest trick to adding flavor to ground turkey and it's taco seasoning! I grabbed a gluten free to help with a healthier choice. 

Now for the beauty haul. Went to Ulta the other day and grabbed a few items...

A must have for anybody who shaves are scrubs! I have found that exfoliating after shaving your legs or anything reduces and or eliminates razor burn and irritation. A plus is having super smooth skin all over. I love putting the scrub under my arms and my feet for a quick little pedi. 

Apologies for it being out of focus, but I grabbed this Urban Decay concealer in light-medium. I used it this morning and gotta say that I'd give it two thumbs up. Very smooth application and great coverage.

If you haven't tried the Biore pore strips to get rid of those pesky black heads then be sure to add this to your list. I grabbed these at our grocery store, but of course Ulta has them as well. The Aveeno lotion had a $1.50 off coupon which made this lotion hard to pass up. Plans are to use it right before bed. Mmmm. I can smell the peaceful night already. 

Last night was the one night of the week that I focus on pampering and reviving my face from all the makeup and harsh outside environment. After the shower I used this mud mask I got in an Ipsy bag a couple months ago, followed that up with pore minimizer on my t-zone, then replenishing serum with vitamin C and finally firming eye cream to tighten up that area. 

On a happier note...

I'm gonna wait till I can gather my thoughts for the blog I really wanted to write. So, until then I'll stick to something much easier to talk about. This past weekend our family celebrated my nephew's high school graduation with a dinner and dance. He is the first grandchild of 10 so it was definitely a big deal! Tejano dancing, the electric slide and good ol' country songs played all night, which made the event so much fun! I loved to see my stepdad dance with my mom because I know that brought her so much happiness. She has always loved dancing tejano! It was emotional night for my sister which is understandable to any parent seeing the success of their child. A possible big reason for the emotion is that my nephew has chosen to serve our country thru the Marine Corps. He's set to ship out in September which is a bittersweet reminder that time never stops. From the moment he signed it seemed like the day would never have come as quick as it has for us. As happy as I am for him taking such a courageous step in life, I'm so worried for his emotions. My father served in the Marine Corps, so I know it's not such a pretty beginning I in bootcamp. Yikes. The best thing I can do is pray, right? Anyway, the vibe of the night was just awesome. Everyone dancing, laughing and having a great time is something that is always memorable and nice to see. No drama, no fighting, just love.
Here are some pics from the weekend. We celebrated my nephew's 18th birthday with bowling and again, the graduation dance.

Bowlero in Corpus Christi, TX

My nephews ;)

Happy Birthday nephew!!

The graduate!!

Following the footsteps of his great grandfather, grandfather and uncle into the Marine Corps

Long night, but had a great time!

Girly Girl

Hey!! I know the last post was a bit depressing, so I thought I'd brighten the room by talking about a hobby I have that's is totally fun, expensive and girly! Makeup! Playing around with all kinds of makeup is definitely fun bringing out the girly girl side of me, but it can get expensive. Like most girls I've been into makeup since I was a teenager, experimenting with all shades of lipstick and colors of the rainbow in shadows. This reminds me of a funny story. Every other year or so we'd travel home to Texas to visit family and for me, I'd always hang out with my friend, Amanda. I remember we'd gush over signed poster she had of Macaulay Culkin, ha ha. Crazy. One visit in particular we shaved our legs for the very first time with her older sister. On our way back home my brother swiped my leg for the first time and shouted out to the whole family in the car, "Jessie shaved her legs!!!". I almost died! I was super embarrassed and scared at what my mom would say. Fortunately I can't really remember what her reaction was, so I guess that's a good thing. Back to the makeup. Growing up my dad instilled his own sort of value in us...'paint your face!', he would say. To this day as grown married women my dad still calls my sister and I out if he sees us without no makeup, especially in public or around our husbands. I joined the Mary Kay pink family about a year and a half ago and I will say that it's helped me to realize what makeup does for a woman. Some women can wear gym shorts and shirt, but throw on makeup just to feel girly. Or basic standards of blush and gloss or blush and mascara. It's makeup! It makes you feel  and look beautiful! YouTube is filled with tons of makeup tutorials done by young girls to women to legit makeup artists and I will say that I am one of those who watches like crazy, especially in my downtime. Before these tutorials and MK I was a basic girl. Basic as in mascara and blush. Now I'm into (very minimal) contouring, lipsticks, layering shadows and brushes! Don't worry, I'm not about to tell you that I'm starting a YoutTube channel, but I do want to start tutorials on my blog cause after all, it's my space, right?!?! It's kinda like photography. There's the professionals and the 'do it for fun not caring about the ISO, aperture and all those other rules' kinda people (that's me!). I wanted to mention, I own a boutique that has an everyday flow of women coming in, trying on clothes and constantly hearing, "ugh, I look ugly...look at my legs, they're horrible...I'm so fat...my face is chubby". Hearing all this just makes me want to shake them and say YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! I understand that makeup doesn't hide imperfections, but I believe it's so much deeper than the makeup or perfect body, but we'll get into that later. So look forward to makeup posts coming soon!!

The End of a Beginning.

I just spent about an hour reading my blogs from the start of all this. Crazy. Crazy how much life has changed. Of all the ways my life has changed the one thing that remained is my ongoing battle with my health (or weightloss I should say honestly). So much has gone on that I wish I would have continued documenting it all - it may have helped see all this clearer.
So where to begin? I think an appropriate place would be acknowledging the post written just below. On the first day of 2015 I committed to myself and God that I would let go of "control". Hmm. Control. I struggled with it obviously, but now my life is anything but in control it seems. I don't know who is out there reading this, but for my own release I write this publicly. My marriage is gone. I stare at the blinking cursor as I finished that last sentence. Gone doesn't mean that I am currently a divorced 32 year old woman. Gone simply means that I have no idea where it's at. I figured I would find out Google's definition of 'gone' and it was pretty right on; gone is defined as 'no longer present: departed'. I've been in a relationship with my husband for 13 years, married just one month shy of 9 years, and today the life in those years is 'no longer present'. I would probably need to fulfill that blog I wrote a couple years back about writing a book to explain how my husband and I have reached this place we're at now, but I guess for time's sake I'll just have to quickly recap 2015 - the year I "let go". Every year on the first day of the year my husband chooses to abide by this rule that his parents had...'no spending money on the first day of the year' because it supposedly set the tone of the year. Honestly, I hate that rule. I hated that somehow every year on that very day we needed something. Remembering back I clear see those days we argued because we needed dish soap, milk, bread or whatever. We argued because of that rule. The rule pissed me off because every year we struggled financially, so I the anger would rise up and we would argue all day (well, let's be honest...I would argue). So. If my mental timeline serves me right then just a few hours after writing that blog I was lying in bed next to the "rule guy". I don't know exactly what he said, but I do remember my smart remark. It had a lot to do with the fact that his rule never played out correctly. We went back forth with sarcasm that quickly escalated into a heated debate. The truth is that ninety percent of our arguments over the years have always had to do with money. We are young family that started out in our teens and have always struggled to make it to The Jones' status. There were many seasons when I worked a few jobs at a time to make ends meet. Seasons when all we had was a box of pancake mix to feed our family with. Seasons where I would find myself at a Catholic Charity home hoping they could pay my light bill. Finances have always been a struggle for us, but there was still that 10 percent that had to do with a lot of other things. Going back to that previous blog about letting go...I mentioned that I had a problem with control. I felt that I took control of the problems we faced as a couple. If we needed money, I took control and did something about it. Things needed to be done around the house, I took control and got it done. If I felt I could do something to get us in a better spot, I took control and pursued it. In all this control I took, I never waited. I never waited for something to rise up or someone. Over the years I built up a lot of anger towards my husband. I wanted so much more out of him. I guess this is where the control was rising up. I wanted to depend on him as a wife should, but I didn't trust him. So I moved. I believe in my heart that over the years he became very comfortable with my ambition. Somewhere in this timeline of events our leadership roles crossed...or were they ever in one's ownership? In January of 2015 we got in to an argument and for once in our relationship, I didn't apologize. I decided to stand my ground and know that I was right. I wanted him to accept that he was wrong. That he had done wrong. He waited though. He waited for me to break the silence, say I'm sorry and move on.  Unfortunately I had had enough. I was tired of being a boiling pot of water that every time the pot spilled over its temperature was turned down and the mess was cleaned up. That decision changed everything. Our arguments were at a whole other level. Shouting matches. Accusations. Cursing. Three months of hell we went thru. On March 20, 2015 I had decided in my mind that I was going to leave my husband. That day I travelled up to San Antonio for a Mary Kay convention and unknown to me my husband just driving up as well. I remember walking in to the convention and feeling so anxious that I couldn't even stand it. I walked out the largest convention center to try and breathe. The moment I sat on the outside patio in the drizzling rain my cell phone rang. It was my husband. His voice was confused and anxious. In the next 2 minutes he told me that he was there in San Antonio and that he just received a phone call from Corpus Christi that his mom had a heart attack. He arrived at the hotel and stayed on the phone for quite sometime making phone calls back and forth with her friends and the hospital. My mother-in-law passed away on Saturday, March 21, 2015, one month before her birthday. God did something to us in that season. It seemed the hell we were going thru subsided and our love was renewed. By the time summer it I began to feel like that dust had settled to reveal nothing had changed. My heart was still bitter. I still wanted change.
In the Fall of this year I took a step of faith and opened up A Stellar Find boutique. Yeah, that one thing a blogged about for years. I am now a small business owner! Exciting, huh? It's been a dream I never thought would come to pass, but of course God is faithful to His promises. I've always held on to Luke 1:45 'Blessed is she who has BELIEVED that The Lord would fulfill His promises to her'. I know I just said that I never thought it would happen, but you know what I mean. It's like a wildest dreams kinda thing.  It's only been 5 months, but my 'visions' have never been bigger.
So here I am wrapping up the year. I am a new business owner, the mother of a 12 yr old, 11 yr old, 8 yr old and a marriage falling apart. My husband and I currently sleep in different rooms, haven't had any sort of intimacy in over 3 weeks, and destroyed each other with our words and actions. Being completely real with whoever you are...I do not know what God is allowing, doing and working on. I am so confused. My faith in life has become so weary. If you are reading this I hope that you would not judge me for being so transparent with the world, but instead realize that I am human and going thru some real issues. I don't know how the next few weeks of the year will play out, but I pray that I receive some sort of revelation. I am praying for a breakthrough. God is the only One that can turn this situation around. So I ask myself, did I let go? Did I let go? I don't know. I wish I had more time to explain in detail what's been going on, but I can't.
As for my weight loss journey, I will say that it's gotten so much better. I type that and exhale. I am 4 months of continued attendance in a gym. I've lost weight and inches and I feel incredible!! I'll definitely share that journey in another post!

2015

This new year is prompting me to do something that is typically cliche. No Frozen pun intended, but I am letting go. I am letting go of something that I struggle with personally...and that is, control. God has heard years of my questions, wondering, thoughts, complaints, frustrations and of course planning, but I hope this year I can learn to hear more of His answers, confirmations, truths, and prompts to stop  and enjoy each day He has made. I tend to make my life hard and stressful when I just don't understand why certain things unfold the way they do in my life. I'll press on and on trying to figure out why and attempt to fix it myself, telling God how it can work if He makes these things happen... 

I want to let go of all the things I knowingly and unknowingly attempt to control. I'm 31 and I still have a lot of questions that I know will be completely pointless when I come face to face with Him yet I know that He cares about my every concern. 

First day of the new year it came to mind this morning and again in a devotional. I've heard, preached and read this scripture a gazillion times, but today it sank in deep - 'I know the plans that I have for you...' Jeremiah 29:11. I need to trust God in every detail of my life. I need to remember that He is never early and never late. I am blessed to know the Word of God, blessed by people who motivate and encourage me and I am blessed to know that the dreams and plans I may think are great, God has even Greater planned for me.  

Just keepin' it real with ya. 

Happy New Year to me 👏

Believe. Commit. Twenty-Fourteen.

Can't believe a whole year has come and gone already. Welcome 2014! It's 5:56 in the morning and I'm at my kitchen table with coffee brewing, news on and my (free) plush white robe warming my freezing body! Thanks to some Christmas gifts I got the robe from Ulta and it's funny to say I've never owned a robe :) It's nice. Reminds me that I'm 30 for some reason. Anyway, my news feeds have been filled with NY resolutions, a year in pics and motto's and I think to myself even though I love to make resolutions, I can't stay to committed to anything but God and my husband. Ugh. Don't mean to be a bitter betty, but I'm just kinda over it. Maybe I'm disappointed in myself? Keeping it real with you, whoever you are, there are several things that I've "committed to" in some way that I didn't complete. I know the reasons why I haven't and I'm working on that between me and God, so we'll talk about that later. Let me now replace those negatives with positives. If you have followed any part of my blog you would have read several posts concerning my ongoing battle/thorn-in-my-side/struggle with weight loss. I have learned to replace the "weight-loss" mentality with the goal in mind to become healthier. For so long I just wanted to lose weight. I had this complete unrealistic picture in my head of a skinny girl. Maybe it's all those stupid Photoshop pictures that made me think I could look like that! After many many years I am slowwwwwwwwly embracing me for ME. I am woman with beauty from ashes. My body is a walking trophy. It shows strechmarks on my stomach and hips from my three beautiful children. I have unnecessary fat from sitting all day at work. Santa Claus hair from either age, stress or inherited. Let's just say I ain't Cindy Crawford, but I am a beautiful me and there could never be another beautiful me, as Johnny Diaz says. In 2013 I learned alot about health and the REAL importance of it. Well, of course we all know that health is important, but I really embraced it. I educated myself on foods and what's in food and how that affects the system of our bodies. My eyes have been opened to the harm that I'm exposing to my kids and their little bodies. It's scary!! I want to be in good health and I know that with that usually results in a leaner body, which is a plus :). It would be safe to say that this topic is one of a few major things I'm focused on in 2014. Some things that I'm always wanting to improve are parenting, being a wife and of course showin' Jesus. If I could sum up 2013 in one word it would be Believe. I know it sounds like I'm really hard on myself about weight loss, but this past year I reached my first major achievement in the journey. I prayed and believed that I would be able to reach my goal and I did. I simply believed in ME (and the strength of God). The act of believing and setting your mind to do it has so much power. 2014 brings the word Commitment for me. In that there is more to just the weight loss. It's commitment to saving money, building my business, getting my real estate license, paying off our debt and most importantly staying committed to promises I make to my children, even if its promising to take them for ice cream.    

Alright...that's where I gotta stop. Work calls and waking up 3 sleepy kids from a warm bed. My bed that is. <3 font="">

Be blessed today and everyday,
Jess

Baby Shower - Animals

This past weekend I hosted a baby shower for probably the prettiest 9 mth pregnant woman I know. She is my beautiful cousin, Marguerite. Her and her husband will be welcoming their 4th child, Christopher, any time now. Since she has an animal theme for his room I decided to have the baby shower themed in animals as well. Check out some pictures of the items I made for the shower;

Now usually these are used for popcorn, but since we went with animals, I decided to put animal crackers in them :) I used 8.5x11 animal printed paper from Hobby Lobby and kept them together with Wasbi tape.  I dug holes into a styrafoam block wrapped in blue tissue paper to hold them together...

I found these cute zebra and monkey cupcake toppers at Hobby Lobby for .99 along with the zebra cupcake liners. Yummy yellow cupcakes with milk chocolate icing. Added with the cupcakes, I added Little Debbie Zebra Cakes and green crimped paper as grass around the platter...

Mommy-to-be has been craving chocolate, so I went all out for this and oh my did I get compliments on this cake! The cake was Duncan's Devil's Cake with Hershey's Dark Chocolate icing. In the middle of the cakes I put in homemade J-E-L-L-O banana pudding topped with Hershey's chocolate chips and surrounded by coconut. The cake was so moist and delicious!

Now my intention with the pudding was to use small clear plastic shot glasses adding layers of banana and chocolate pudding topped with crushed Oreos, but that didn't work out. I searched every aisle of WalMart looking for the big cans of pudding but nothing. I had to settle for the individual packs of pudding topped with crushed M&M Cookies.

Here are some pictures of the table and of the beautiful mother-to-be...

Thankfully my sister put in her talent as well and created some adorable gifts for her (thanks to Pinterest)

My Photo Challenge

If I ever said that I was going to follow the photo challenge in order, I lied! I'm still doing the challenge as I remember and as I also remember to keep my camera nearby. So without further delay here are a few more days;

[No filter, no editing]

Day 10 - Looking forward to...

Just this past Tuesday I went to my weekly WW Meeting and FINALLY received my first every gold star! Whoohoo! I was very excited :) Some may remember me saying that I've been on Weight Watchers twice before and this is my 3rd attempt, so finally getting this little sticker made me feel like a school girl getting a smiley face sticker on her paper. And I yes. I have no shame. You people who I have never met in my entire life now know exactly how much I weigh. There.

Day 12 - Book

Even though our day and age has come to reading a book on an iPad, Kindle or phone as you can see in the picture; I am still a HUGE of cracking open an actual book, inhaling that fresh (or old) printed paper smell, and flipping the pages. I have an app called Audible that I use alot to listen to books while I'm exercising or simply nodding off at night, but recently a friend introduced me to an app called Kobo. With Kobo & my BookSneeze freebies, I downloaded a powerful book by Max Lucado called, Grace. I'm on the last chapter and gosh, it has got to be my one of my top fave's!    

Day 14 - Favorite Time of Day

Amazing picture, huh? It's mostly the colors that I fall in love with, but watching the sun rise has become my favorite time of day. Monday thru Friday I drive a strech of road that is surrounded by fields and each morning I get to witness this beautiful scenery. I just love how quick the colors change as the sunrises in seconds - I took about 4 shots in the span of 30 seconds and each one has color so different from another.  

A Psalm & Proverb - Day 2

A friend of mine posted on FB yesterday, "I love when the 1st of the month is a Monday, it seems perfect." I agree. Along with the dates falling into place, we also had some amazing weather blow in yesterday evening. Right when we were about to start soccer practice a strong gust of wind blew in with a crisp chill, so that made the start of Fall and a new month a little more perfect! So back to yesterday being the 1st, I had planned to start something with my kids, but how many times I plan and never do it because it slips my mind. Well, I didn't completely forget about it cause I did mention it to my husband while cooking dinner, but we got caught up with The Voice that we never got around to doing it. Bummer. I've been spiritually nudged lately to start digging into the Word with my kids, so yesterday I thought would be good to with reading a Psalm and Proverb a day, beginning with 1 :) Now don't get me wrong, I believe any day and any time is a good time to start, but for someone like me, I have a thing with numbers. We are pretty good about praying every night before the kids go to bed, but there is so much more we as parents should be doing and I really feel the Spirit hasn't backed down about reminding me of these things. See, our children have an advantage right now that they don't quite consider an advantage at the moments, but they will, soon. My husband serves in the children's ministry at church where he leads the service from games to the message and everything in between and as for myself, I work in the office all Sunday morning, sooooo here's the priviledge; our 3 kids get to hear the message not once, twice, but three times a day! How 'bout that! Ha. I gotta admit, there are days when they are pretty burned out, but those are few and far between. Here's what I'm trying to get at. Though they are getting a triple dose of the Word Sunday morning and once more Wednesday nights, there always needs to be the home teaching. For instance, let's use this morning as an example. At the kids' school the PTO collects Box Tops and empty CapriSun pouches and again, I have three children to who this program applies to. I have evenly distribute those sticky empty pouches and Box Tops between all of them and that gets to be a little difficult as you can imagine. After attending a birthday party this past weekend Leo (my oldest) got permission to pick up all the CapriSun pouches after the birthday guests were done with them for this program. Leo wanted to make it very clear to his younger brother and sister that it was him who asked to pick up the pouches; therefore, those pouches are his. At the time I didn't really say anything to his statement probably because I just wasn't in the mood and a little part of me agreed with his stand on the pouches, but this morning, yeah, I was in a different mood. You know those moods when you really didn't wanna get out of bed to begin with, when you lie in bed actually contemplating the thought of calling in to work and after all that thinking you realize the time you have wasted. The kind of mood that snowballs when that one kid just won't get up and moving and the other kid sneaks off to the living room playing her Nintendo DS and its not even 6:45 am yet instead of getting dressed as instructed. The kind of mood that has no patience when the other kid really wants to take a lunch and can't understand why I couldn't have gone to the grocery store to get bread for the sandwich even after he told me two days ago that on this particular day he didn't want to eat the cafeteria food. Yes, that kind of mood. So we are in the car and Leo says, "oh mom, give me those CapriSuns so I can turn them in." [No, I didn't forget to type please in his request]. Well, Jeremy decides to argue that it wasn't fair that Leo gets to turn in all those and he hasn't been able to turn in as much as Leo and then Sophia wants to jump in the dispute stating her case. AH! As calmly (but stern) as possible I turn around and say, "Leo, can you please just let them have some, too?" [I should delete that question mark cause it wasn't really a question when I said it]. He made a "mad" face and very unwillingly gave one to his brother and before he could give one to Sophia momma turned psycho. Have any of your mom's had a moment like that? When you feel like your head can do an exorcist headturn. When I should have said to him, "Leo, if you don't want to share then don't. God doesn't want you to have to do something when your heart isn't in it. {i.e. tithes & offering}. But if you want to share what you have I'm sure that your brother, sister and I would really appreciate it." But I didn't. This is what I said, "No. Jeremy give them back to Leo. If he doesn't wanna share then let him be stingy." Yeah, I know. I feel bad. I know I shouldn't have responded like that, but again, it was the mood. I blame it on the mood. Now back to my point. It's moments like this where I should have used an opportunity to share insight on the Word of God with my children. The Bible says,

 
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. ~ Deuteronomy 11:18-21


I should use each and every opportunity to tell my kids what God says about each and every little thing. This is what our foundation is built on. Now me blaming my mood has another issue of its own. There is a book called Unglued that I gotta get my hands on, asap! But before I do that I need to talk to my son about what happened this morning - I can't let my reaction slip away.


My goal in reading a Psalm and Proverb a day is teach my children and myself the Word of God. His Word will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck, Proverbs 1. I know that they probably won't even understand what it means or some of the words, but they will remember it. I know the power of the Word. It cannot go forth without producing what it has been set out to do - they will be life!


Here is day 2:


{Psalm 2}

Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the LORD and against his Anointed One. Let us break their chains," they say, "and throw off their fetters."
The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the LORD scoffs at them. Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, "I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill." I will proclaim the decree of the LORD:
He said to me, "You are my Son, today I have become your Father. Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession. You will rule them with an iron scepter; you will dash them to pieces like pottery," Therefore, you kings, be wise; be warned, you rulers of the earth. Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.



{Proverbs 2}

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair - every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your sould. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of eveil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.
It will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return or attain the paths of life. Thus you will walk in the ways of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will live in the land, and the blameless will remain in it; but the wicked will be cut off from the land and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

Here are some pictures of my kiddos when we read this last night. I had to take them with my iPhone cause I'm sure a big camera would be a bit distracting. We took turns reading from the NIrV version. That version is what their bibles are written and it's very easily understood for litte kids :) After we finished I asked them what theme they continued to hear throughout Proverbs and they guessed correct, wisdom! Oh, and yes as you can see, my daughter fell asleep during the reading - this would be why I wanted us all to take turns reading...to keep them awake!

 

A Psalm & Proverb - Day 1

{Psalm 1}

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight (delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart) is in the law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in judgement, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

{Proverbs 1}

The proberbs of the Solomon son of David, king of Israel:
for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young - let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance - for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. My son, if siners entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, "Come along with us; let's lie in wait for someone's blood, let's waylay some harmless soul; let's swallow them alive, like the grave, and whole like those who go down to the pit; we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; throw in your lot with us, and we will share a common purse" - my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood. How useless to spread a net in full view of all the birds! These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves! Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it.

Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech:
"How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you. But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed wehn I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you - when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you.
"Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me. Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord, since they would not accept my advice and spurned my rebuke, they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes. For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

{Holy Bible - New International Version, emphasis mine}

What do you do with what you know?

This past weekend I was 1,830 miles away from home. Home meaning my three children, a quiet life, my church, and known surroundings. For me it didn't matter if I was flying out to New York City or the Bahamas - as a mother flying meant I was not going to be there with my children. The anxious feelings weren't necessarily about flying, but more about the simple fact that momma wasn't gonna be around. I made a list and checked it twice. Cheerleading practice, soccer practice, afterschool music lessons, Saturday afternoon games, Seaworld, the list went on and on. I gotta admit my mom was a bit annoyed with me doubting her ability to get things done as if she hadn't raised three kids of her own. On top of the hectic schedule, my daughter was just getting over a 3-day fever. I was praying and rebuking any attack that the enemy was trying to plan to interfere with my trip - his lame strategy of course. So Thursday at 2:45 in the morning we attempted to sneak out of the house as quiet as possible though my heavy suitcase rolling down the hallway didn't really help in that. Before we made it past the bedrooms we hear, "Mommy?". Great. I had to wake up grandma to tend to her crying grandkids and try to get on our way before we missed our flight! It was hard though - no mom can walk away from her crying children and not want to just hug and kiss on them till they are calm. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. A sweet reassuring text from my mom 30 minutes later gave me peace though. The kids were just fine and back in bed sound asleep. Praise God. We landed in New York City that afternoon and just as we were rounding out that first evening I had a call come in from my sister. Expecting to hear her checking in, I sarcastically answered my cell, "Heyyyyy sissssss! I can't really hear you, I'm in NYC and the streets are crowded and busy!" [laughing]...she said, "Glad to hear you made it, but uh, I'm calling cause, well, did you notice Sophia's face is really swollen?" I made a dash for the nearest corner, pressed my ear to the phone and said, "WHAT?!? What do you mean swollen?" She went on to say that got a call to pick up my daughter from school today cause she was running a fever of 102. Sophia was still there with her, but she noticed her face and eyes had been swelling slow over time. Panicking and thinking the worst I urged her to take Sophia to the ER and call me immediately after. We hung up so she could call my mom, the temporary caretaker, and I immediately burst into tears. Though my emotions were raw, I prayed. I prayed, but I lacked faith. Has that ever happened to you? When you get that unexpected news and find it hard to muster up the faith past your thoughts. My sister called me back and said that she set an appointment for her the next day first thing in the morning, assuring me that she'd be ok. I was totally against it. I begged her to take her in, but she said no. After my MIL and husband witnessed my distress we went back to the room and attempted to enjoy the remainder of the night. We talked about what could have possibly been the cause for her swelling, etc, but the entire time I just kept thinking about my Sophia. Is she really ok? I need to be there with her. Why would I leave her if she wasn't 100% better? Honestly, I was literally moments away from leaving my husband and mother-in-law there and flying home. It's crazy the decisions we made in the midst of our emotions.  I prayed fervently that night. I claimed in the name of Jesus that my daughter was healed - I spoke the Word of God over her life. In all this I can't say that I was completely convinced myself of what I was speaking. I was so worried. And I hate to say that cause I know that as a child of God, I should never worry. But I'm not a robot - I am human who fails to look past the natural sometimes. So Friday rolls around and my mom calls just after leaving the doctor's office. She tells me, which I still don't understand why, but the doctor decided to test her urine for a urinary tract infection. With those results it determined that her white cell count was too high and that could be an idication of something going on with her kidney's or just the infection. The infection that he didn't think she had might I add. So, if I wasn't freaking out enough the night before, this day I most certainly was. After we hung up I text the two most faithful and dependable women I know, who I also consider my spiritual mentors. This is the text in its entirety that I received after telling them about Sophia's condition and my current feelings:

Oh darling, that's just what satan hoped would happen to your spirit. I always say the devil is a cruel and this is just one more example of it being true. But don't you know that GOD knew you were leaving as well and HE had a plan for the protection of your children even before you left. HE sees the beginning from the end. GOD never said we couldn't weep while we stand! Be encouraged Jessica, GOD is on your side. He loves you and so do I.

Wow. Chiiiiiild, I was snot crying while reading this text. I wasn't just crying because she is such a sweet and caring woman of God. I was crying because I KNEW this to be my GOD! Immediately all the scripture that had been impressed on my heart began to bubble up. Every encouraging bible verse I had given to others in times such as this came to my rememberance.

I will not fear sudden diaster, for the LORD is my confidence. Psalm 3:25-26

He knows everything. Psalm 139

God is in control, He is El Roi. Psalm 139

All throughout my days in NYC I prayed. I remained in constant communication with God about the wellbeing of my children. My mother was instructed to return back Monday morning with a full urine sample of Sophia's to test that once more. To God be the glory when I say that her report came back clear! Jesus, my daughter's healer, touched her body and healed any infection. 

When it comes to the bible, the Word of God, as a child of God, this is our weapon. We don't fight with our emotions or feelings. We fight with the power of Words. We fight on our knees in prayer  - that is our job. Jesus' job is to heal. He promised to heal our "land" when we seek Him with our whole heart in all humility. God is faithful. 

I will be as transparent with you as possible. I was scared. I was worried. I thought worst when the doctor said anything regarding her kidney's. But I praise God and I'm grateful for the body of Christ. Ephesians says that we should have unity in the body of Christ. We are one. I called on members of the body and was encouraged, prayed for and held together. 

Your grace is enough.

  

My Photo Challenge

Thought since it's officially FALL I'd warm up the font color a bit :) Okay, so lots to share about New York City, but first I need to catch up on the 30-Day Photo Challenge. I don't have Days 1-4 cause there on my laptop, but I do have these from the beautiful city of New York.

Day 5 FAMILY

Pictured here is myself with my husband and mother-in-law. Lombardi's Pizza was suggested to us by some friends and boy o' boy was it delicious!!

Day 6 OUTDOORS

Any visit to NYC must include a trip to the beautiful Central Park. Here are a few pictures from there...

Day 7 HOBBY

I have more than one hobby, so I included one of myself cause photography is definitely something I love doing...I may not do it well, but I love to try. And second is a few pictures of some headbands, which is my other hobby, my small business :)

[side note: I wasn't finished with the blog when it posted yesterday. My mouse decided to die on me so I had to control everything from the keyboard.]

Anywho - I'll be posting about the trip a bit later today, so stay tuned!